conversation of me and my friend :
He : how are you ?
Me: fine , you?
He : me too...
Me: no , I lied I'm not fine .. I don't eat and sleep 3 days  and .. and I started cutting again .. I'm sorry  ...
He : why are you doing this ??
Me : I don't know , I just want to end this ..
He : you're stupid
Me : .. You know , sometimes I'm  afraid of myself .. I stopped talking , I like to be alone and I'm not me anymore and I feel better online.
He: I told you, just think what you have in your life ? nothing ? you  just think
Me : I think about this all the time , then I cut my skin
He : and cutting is the way ?
Me : and what should I do ? I don't have friends? I should sit alone and laugh at myself  ?? thats not what I want
He: I'm saying have a friends
1- be funny
2-be friendly
3- don't hurt them
5- don't tell your story until you know that they are real friends .
Me : and where can I found friends ? in the street ?
He : I meet my friends on facebook :)
Me: I will try , thanks ... (it's a lie)


few days ago we met and I acted like I don't hear his voice and I looked at the darkness when he was talking , I acted like there is nothing that can make me smile (that's true) and then he don't talked to me 4 days .I'm a real monster !! I hatte myself and I hate everything around me